Sunday, September 02, 2007
My Boo! How could you?
Uhhhh!! Look what I found whilst looking for Nigeria related info online. I thought I better brush up on "Whats hot" and "What's not" seeing as I will be home in December. Naturally my Boo is on the "What's hot" list. Look at him looking all smart in his suit with his hair glistening in the Lagos moonlight(swoon). I think I will e-mail it to myself at work and make it my screen saver. It will calm me down when Telly tubby from accounts comes to my desk tomorrow to ask me some pointless work related question that I can't be ar... to answer. Anyway back to more important things. Seeing if we can find more piccies of my boo.
Kata! Kata! don happen. Basssssssssssssssskkkkkkkkyyyy!!!!! Who be that practically sitting on your lap??? Did they not have enough chairs at the event or what's with the closeness? Breathe Mena...breathe. It's nothing. She's probably his personal stylist. She's probably got a big ol tub of Brycleem or Twist n go in that deceptively small looking clutch bag of hers. Ready to jump into action as soon the lights from the camera start to dry out my Boo's nappy locs. That's it! Thats all it is. No need to spend your rent money buying a ticket to Lagos to slap anyone silly. Remember what you learnt at Anger managment classes Mena. Deep breath's. It's nothing. Once I get to Lagos I can ensure that all female non entourage members(who will be personally vetted by myself of course) will be seated 40 paces from my Boo at all times. OK! I feel better. Not perfect...but better.
I guess I can't blame you. It's not your fault you're irresistible to the opposite sex. I mean hot looks, charm and enough rib cracking jokes to last a life time??? What more could a woman want? Wellllll... actually I have a list of things you might want to go over just to ensure you are totally ready for the Mena in December. I ain't saying I won't accept any future proposals from you without them but it would considerably drop the bride price my father has in mind(10 years of UK education ain't cheap buddy)! So take note:
Don't get me wrong my Boo. I ain't one of these new age women who refuses to cook because a couple of my fellow sisters burned their bra's. I love to cook but I also love to feel special and there's nothing that makes a woman feel more special than coming home to find her hubby in nothing but an apron and a smile, making dinner. Might not actually get to eat any dinner with whole apron thing going on but it's the thought that counts.
2)The patience of a Saint
Yes! My niece Ibadan J Lo princess might finger paint all over your brand new Porsche in florescent pink paint so it matches her Malibu Barbie convertible. My great aunt twice removed might soak her false teeth in your best brandy and if my soon to be brother in law, Market Boy's, phone plays Shina Peters "Fuji Garbage" one more time... They annoy even me Boo and they are MY FAMILY. So if you are willing to meet them, spend time with them and still want to snog me afterwards...you've got be a keeper.
3)The ability to turn a blind eye
To the fact that I probably will never shave my legs again once we get married or my inability to bring myself to cook anything more complicated than bread and stew. We are married now. All that one I dey do before na for show. £30.00 for a full set of acrylic nails? Never again brotha. If I take that one to the market you and that your crazy auntie that likes to pop by unannounced(you're bound to have one. Everyone does) will be eating cow leg and snails for 3 months straight. Nope, the days of wearing make up, shaving, getting my hair and nails done and cooking Chicken a la king are over. Stuff like that will be saved for special occasions like anniversaries, your birthday and Independence day.
A guy who comes home and says "...And I saw something I thought you might like whilst I was out today." gets less sex than one who comes home and says " I was out today and I got you this because it looked like something you might like." See the difference? You have been warned!I ain't greedy but I like a surprise gift as much as the next person. Doesn't have to be big or expensive. Even a magazine will do it. It's just nice to know you were thinking about me Boo.
You taking notes Basky?? You better be because I'll be home soon and will be giving a pop quiz. You fail and I might just have to heal my broken heart in Tyrese's muscly arms.
PS: There's no need to be nice to Ijebu Chick after we get married. She's mean and dosen't appreciate your hotness. She prefers Dbanj.
By the way, Ijebu Chick your Hubby know se you dey look half naked musicians on the internet? No be Open University he tell you to come check so he could sign you up for English speaking classes? Asewo!
Yeah, he's cute I guess. Has that whole rippling torso, harmonica playing thing going on. If you hadn't already captured my heart I might be tempted. But I'm a one man woman. You just wait till Johnson Baby oil and I finish with you. You'll be all glistening torso too Basky.