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Tuesday, July 03, 2012

The Boss 2

The email for Boss guy came in when I was gliding several 1000 miles over the Atlantic
towards my holiday destination…Good Ol’ Blighty; where shopping reigns and taking the bus is not detrimental to my aspiring bigz girlz status.

I was knackered from having to be among the “Allergic to deodorant “posse in economy so didn’t notice the email from the training centre till the following day. Something about some webinar that should have happened the day before…Opps. Guess he missed that then. Surely they must have told him about it verbally when he got there? I’ll just forward it to him anyway. There’s a link to some online documents not to mention the fact that it gives me an opportunity to keep the lust for Mena burning while I’m away.

I’m so sorry I’ve only just managed to access to my e-mails and there seems to be one here for you. It came in while I was mid air, so apologies once again. I hope you’re enjoying the training? I’m really looking forward to hearing your feedback on their content and delivery when I get back. Maybe we could schedule an informal meet over coffee so we can discuss how to use some of their practices for our own internal training processes. Have a lovely day and please don’t the let the fact that I’m on leave deter you from letting me know if you need absolutely anything at all. Enjoy the rest of your day.


You’re a hoe!

That’s “Soon to be married to the boss” hoe to you Mr. Grey Matter. Have some respect for the woman that’s about to stand behind a very great man.

Why didn’t you send a picture of you in nothing but nipple tassels? That might have been a tad more subtle.

You lack class Brain. Everyone knows men are more interested in what they can’t see. I’m luring him in slowly. Creating opportunities for him to get to know me and realize that his life has been nothing but a sham filled with random unattractive women before moi.

I pirry you. You know most office relationships don’t work out?

That’s because most office relationships revolve around mediocre members of staff falling in love over Indomie snack boxes.  That is not my portion. I have done extensive research on Boss guy and the minimum standard I can expect is Sky lounge even on a broke day. Believe me; it will be easy to keep the love fires burning when they are being fanned by paper money in foreign denominations.


Inconsequential organ!


Uhhhhh…Brain he’s responded already!!!!!!!! He feels it too Brain. He feels the attraction that cannot be denied.

You sicken me.

I wonder if he has cool family members that will be down with flying to the Cayman’s for our wedding. I’ve already removed all my non-English speaking relatives from my invitation list and anyone who has trouble pronouncing the letters T, R and S. Maybe I should…



Really! This behavior does not become you. Fine lets see what future hubhub has to say.


 This is VERY late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Yessssss… It might be a tad late but what’s with all the exclamation marks?
 Werrin happen? No be webinar or dey share money for the place?

Hahahahahahahahaha…Iyawo oga.

Where the love letter dey?

Ok Mena. Deep breaths.

Lets read on. There may be terms of endearment further along.

Why did you even bother to send this? I mean come on! It doesn’t require a modicum of intelligence to realize that if the seminar was yesterday I wouldn’t need this today now would I.  Yesterday…Today! You do know the difference between the past and the present don’t you? Huh? Do you Mena because I am truly at a loss for words. You will learn and you will learn fast that I do not tolerate this sort of slap dash, slow thinking behaviour on my team. 

 Jesu! My own don finish.

Slow thinking?

Modicum of intelligence?

Is he calling me stupid?

At all. He’s considering nominating you for the Nobel Peace Prize for nuclear physics…Hahahahahaha

However I’m a survivor and I’m going to make it. I survived this little incident you managed to create with your lack of forward thinking. I suggest you ensure that I have no cause to attempt to survive any other Mena created fiasco’s while we are working together.
For time being enjoy your leave and we’ll discuss some of the worrying issues that my PA has brought to light regarding your proposals, when you return.  
Boss Guy

What just happened?

Why’s he quoting Destiny’s Child lyrics at me?

Does this mean no Sky Lounge and Cayman Island wedding again?


Boooooooooooo hooooooooooo…

And Bad Weave…That cow has somehow figured out my proposal scam and ratted me out.

How? How could this happen? I’ve only been gone 2 days.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and let me think. There must be a way out of this mess with your Destiny Child Groupie, bipolar boss. You might be ok living with your loony toon mother and driving a Rio but this piece of grey matter was meant for bigger things and that’s not going to happen if you’re unemployed.

Chineke! Who said anything about being unemployed again?!!!

Boo Hoooooooooooooooo…He is gonna fire me isn’t he?

Maybe I should send a picture of me in nothing but nipple tassels? Oh Brain what are we gonna do?!


The experiences of an achiever....... said...

lol!!!!!!!!!!!! Mena!!!
I've missed you terribly so!!
#dead at Why’s he quoting Destiny’s Child lyrics at me? erm, because he's a survivor? lol!
Ehen, while you're there you fit buy me tuc and digestive milk shokolate?

Lashandaaa said...

Why did you stop writing? Come back.