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Thursday, March 30, 2006

Money for hand...........

Operation Cave girl is now in full swing. Got a whole hours extra sleep today seeing as I didn't have to do mundane things like brush my teeth, hair or put on make up. So I feel really alert and bubbly. Even got a whole row of seats to myself on the tube. It was actually kinda packed but I guess everyone was feeling perky like me and didn't feel the need to sit down. Even work has been really relaxing. People seem to be reluctant to come over to give me work to do, but you don't hear me complaining. I will keep you all updated on my quest for natural beauty.

I was having a conversation with my girls today. Just putting the finishing touches to a girly night we’ve got planned when the Ijebu sisters (Ijebu Chick and SE Chick) tried to wriggle out of paying for their tickets. This is usually my territory. I try to use the single and depressed routine to get out of paying for stuff as often as possible. Shed a few tears, emphasise the fact that they are all loved up and just watch those wallets come flying out. I think its only logical that since all the others have live entertainment at home, I should be able to spend my meagre salary on buying myself as much entertainment as I can get. It worked all right for a while, but I think they’ve all figured out that I’ve probably bought myself enough entertainment to last a lifetime. So now when I start sobbing they just hand over some tissues and a banana.

Anyway, rather than drop kick and beat the ijebu sisters into submission… I suggested they convince their hubbies to pay for their tickets by being a tad creative in the bedroom department. Ijebu chick protested as always, but we all know she will spend the next couple of hours (when she is meant to be working) looking for an on line Karma Sutra manual. And when she gets home the cardboard box where she keeps the good underwear will come down from the top of the cupboard, pepper soup (Her “ Tonight’s the night “ weapon of choice) will be made and the rest as they say is “History”.

SE Chick, having only just rediscovered the joys of men, couldn’t even be bothered to pretend. She immediately stopped responding to e-mails and I have a funny feeling she is now on a bus heading back home to earn her money.

But it got me thinking …maybe that old adage is true. Maybe we are all ladies everywhere else and whores in the bedroom. Cause ladies lets be honest we all use the old ooohhhing and ahhhhing to get what we want sometimes or should I say all the time. You know how it is:

We have make up sex when we piss them off or even when they piss us off but we can’t be bothered to cope with their sulking for the next 3 weeks.

We have I saw the most gorgeous top yesterday but I’m broke sex.

We have there’s no way in hell you are going to a party with that womanising friend of yours sex. You know the kind of sex that has him so knackered he can’t remember his name let alone how to put on his trousers on to leave the house.

If theres a problem, we’ve got a position for it. But the question is, is it really fair? No offence brothers but we all know your brains are down there, so are we taking undue advantage by manipulating you with our feminine wiles? Cause as a woman, you piss me off its going to take a whole lot more than nibbling my ear to make things up. I’m talking constant grovelling and a Tiffany box. After and only after I have the little blue box in my hand, will stroking and ear nibbling be considered a decent form of apology.

Anyway, maybe I shouldn’t be letting our little secret out to the boys. Don’t want to spoil things for you Ijebu girls tonight. I know you girls won’t let us down so the drinks are on you two.


Bunnylish said...

If it ain't broke,then don't fix it! This particular weapon has started (and ended) wars, resulted in a headless John the Baptist, and provided endless items of clothing and accessories in yours truly's wardrobe. So let's just let it go...since they are wired this way, I guess it's included in the 'grand design'!

Straddler said...

Preach Bunnylish! What works does so for a reason. By all means ladies do the nasty deed :-)

The Professor said...

Very few guys actually have it 'down there.' One of the lady myths that need looking into.